Movie Reviews - T
The Tall Guy: Rare. Rowan Atkinson being his funny self, and Jeff Goldblum "not" being a misfit genius. Worth a look if it happens to be on.
Tank Girl: I liked this movie. I'm not ashamed to admit either. I don't think many people understood that it was supposed to have a "cartoonish" look to it. Most people just saw that as cheap and stupid. Of course, I am a much more advanced version of human, so I could fully understand and appreciate the artistic aspects of this fine piece of cinema. Sorry for all you dimwits out there, you're missing out.
Taxi Driver: Great movie that I finally saw. Interesting how timely it is, even though it was almost 30 years old when I first saw it. I guess there will always be directionless loners looking for something to believe in or fight for. After all, if you believe in nothing, what's the point of anything?
Teen Wolf: Yes, I saw this. Sorry, I promise not to do it again. Hey! I did NOT see Teen Wolf Too! so at least I have that going for me. I remember seeing an interview with the "star" of Teen Wolf Too, and he was going on about how it was "too" not "two", so it was a really clever title. I guess that's about all he could come up with.
Terminator: Very cool. Of course, you've probably already seen the movie, or heard that it was good. If I have any complaint it's "use more light". I know this was supposed to be a dark movie, but come on! (I'm not complaining, it was still an excellent movie)
Terminator II: Cool, but for different reasons than T1. This one made up for "less originality" with "better effects" and more action. It was indeed a fun movie to watch.
Terminator III: Just a lot of fun... and so fast-paced that I think the whole thing was really only one scene (maybe two). Plus, it had a great ending that didn't cop-out. Stay tuned for T4: The Governator.
Tequila Sunrise: I didn't really understand the appeal of this one. It felt like watching the life of a middle-aged man who is trying to get a date with a fat divorcee. (Not literally, but it was about that exciting)
Theremin: An Electronic Odyssey: You know the sound of the Theremin, even if you've never seen one. It's the musical instrument that's famous for that spooky sound in 50's sci-fi movies... This is a documentary about the instrument, it's inventor (Leon Theremin), and it's most famous virtuoso, Clara Rockmore. Thankfully, the documentary was made just before some of the key players died. I was really impressed to hear & see Clara Rockmore play the Theremin with a serious, professional attitude & skill. I guess it's proof that the beauty of music isn't in the way the music is created, but in how it's played and heard.
There's Something About Cameron Diaz: er... Mary. I really wanted to hate this movie since everybody thought it was SO funny. But, despite my most cynical efforts, I didn't. It was pretty funny. It wasn't the funniest or best movie I ever saw, but it was worth watching. I didn't get too much out of the physical humor (like the dog stuff, or the "hair gel"). The characters were just all believable... yet at the same time unbelievable. My favorite had to be Warren. I think what made this movie work best was how nothing was "forgotten" or left hanging. Everything which happened in the movie had something to do with the plot, and it all flowed really well.
There Will Be Blood: And there was. One man's battle with everything - himself, his family, society, and even God. When he wins the last battle? the best line of the movie - I'm done. This wasn't a life changing movie, but it was an intersting character study.
They Live: Just put on the damn sunglasses. I really hated that scene with a passion. As for the movie? It was pretty dumb, especially the theme music, which is stuck in my brain.. aaaahhh!!!!
The Thing (remake): My favorite alien/horror/suspense movie. (I saw the original "thing" from the 50's - it was stupid.) This movie keeps you guessing the whole way through, and the ending was great. This is probably the only movie that ever gave me real "chills"... of course that probably had more to do with my being like 11 years old when it came out.
Things to do in Denver When You're Dead: One of your complicated-plot, stylish (with just a tinge of comedy) mobster movies... well, not that complicated, but you get the picture. It's right in the middle of the pack of such movies, if you like this kind of stuff, go see it... if not, don't.
The Thin Red Line: What really bothered me about this movie were all the good reviews it got. This was an extremely boring movie. I think I know why it got good reviews though, all these ridiculous movie critics care more about the emotional side of war than the actual fighting of it. Yes, war is tough, it brings out some crazy emotions in people, but that's not all it does. Every single person in this movie had some major character "hang-up" which caused them to be dysfunctional. It was so overblown it was ridiculous. On top of that, the pace of this movie would make a snail bored. How many times do they have to flashback to some farm field in Iowa? It takes forever for anyone to say anything or do anything in this movie. The only redeeming quality of this film was the cinematography. It did look good. (and the pace did pick up a bit toward the end)
This is Spinal Tap: It is! Just plain funny. A great satirical look at rock n roll. The best was the way that the musicians try to be so "deep" and "serious" when they're really all just a bunch of idiots. Art imitating life?
The Thomas Crowne Affair: Almost a James Bond movie. All in all it was good, although I think the investigator figured out "who did it" a little quickly. Perhaps that was just in order to speed the plot along? There are a few things in this movie that didn't make a whole lot of logical sense, but what the hell. I hear that many women think Pierce is sexy, that's probably a good enough reason for half the population to go see this. After all, I spend so much time talking about babes in movies, I guess I should give equal time.
Three Amigos: I can honestly say that I'm sick of writing about movies that I haven't seen in years and didn't really love when I did see them. What can I say about this one? Just another way to waste away a couple hours.
Three for the Road: Who cares? What ever happened to Kerri Green anyway?
Time Bandits: Yes, of course I liked this. Like I even need to type this "review". Terry Gilliam is da man!
Time Cop: One of JCVD's better movies... still, your probably better off just reading a plot summary than actually sitting through the movie.
The Time Machine (old one): One of the few old sci-fi movies that's still very watchable decades after it first came out. Perhaps ahead of its "time"?
The Time Machine (2002 remake): Imagination by committee.
Tin Cup: Kevin Costner needs to work on his swing, but at least it's better than Don Johnson's. The final sequence made this movie. They did a good job at getting to the real appeal of golf - you just know you can make the damn shot.
Titanic: You've probably already seen it, so I won't bother you with another review. I did like it though.
To Kill a Mockingbird: A black and white movie... black and white life, black and white people, and black and white film. Anyway, I really liked the way the movie was portrayed from the viewpoint of the children... I thought that was done really well.
Tommy Boy: The only remotely funny thing that Chris Farley ever did.
Tootsie: Dustin Hoffman makes a really ugly woman.
Top Gun: I remember liking this movie when it came out. I just saw a bit of it recently, and it looked totally dorky. So, I have no idea what to write about this... I don't know if I like it or not... oh, wait, I just figured it out - it was stupid.
Top Secret: In my opinion (which matters more than yours!), this was the best zucker-abrams collaboration period. There will never be another. I must have watched this move 50 times, and it was funnier every time. This movie has so many absolutely classic scenes that I can't even list them all. The jokes aren't "forced" either, they just flow into the plot seamlessly. I love the way this movie confuses time periods and countries and politicas into some mushed-up alternate reality.
Tora Tora Tora!!!: The best "pearl harbor" movie... plot-wise. The real story of pearl harbor was the war & bombing, etc... not some silly love story (like that other movie). Too bad this was filmed a number of years ago - with today's special effects, it would have jumped into the "awesome" category.
Total Recall: I still think it was all just a dream. Watch the scene where Arnie is getting implanted with the fake memories, they totally describe the plot of the movie, and they even show some of the alien technology on the video screens. There's no way they'd "know" what that stuff looked like because nobody had even discovered it yet.
Touching the Void: Finally, a good climbing movie, no... an awesome climbing movie based on the legendary true-story book.
The Toxic Avenger: What ever happened to Traumaville movies anyway? did somebody die or something? This was one of the better ones, but none of them were that good.
Toys: A forgettable movie that tries to be a musical comedy I guess... but just ends up being dumb. One word review: "Huh?"
Toy Story: Every so often a movie comes along which completely redefines what cinema is. I had been waiting for a 100% computer animated movie for years. What makes this movie absolutely amazing is that it's a great movie regardless of the animation. The animation just made it totally classic.
Toy Story II: This was probably just as good as the first, but it suffered just a little by being a sequel - the characters weren't as new and fresh, I knew what to expect going in. Although, I guess every sequel has that... that's why they're sequels in the first place. Ok, so it was incredible too.
Trading Places: Now this was a comedy.
Traffic: 4 different takes on the drug "trade". It was a bit overly-dramatic and preachy at times, but still worth a watch. Some scenes and bits were very watchable. I especially liked the actor who played the Mexican cop. By the end of the movie, I couldn't help but think... "so what's the solution?" Someday, this issue will settle... it may take a hundred years or more, but someday... So, how do we get from here to there? is there any way to speed the process? or do we just have to wait for history to unfold and tell us the plan?
Trainspotting: I wasn't too impressed with this one. It's your typical "heroin movie". I guess I would have enjoyed it more if I had once been a Scottish heroin addict. There wasn't anything about trainspotting in it either... unless they were trying to equate heroin use with the activity of trainspotting, they're both rather pointless.
Transamerica:Yes, the plot was mostly predictable, and a bit contrived, but thanks to a stong performance by the lead, it actually works.
Transformers:More than meets the eye... Sometimes, you just need to see a silly movie with giant robots smashing things.
The Triplets of Belleville: A woman cures her son's malaise with the gift of a new bike, then molds him into a mid-rate champion bike racer, only to have him kidnapped by a mafia boss who hooks him and two other bicyclists up to a machine that makes them race against each other so other mafia types can gamble on the outcome. His only hope of rescue lies with his mother and overweight dog, who fall in with a group of aging lounge singers that now perform music on houshold appliances and subsist on a diet of frogs which they acquire by exploding dynamite in a swamp. It's amazing what one must dream up to make an original movie these days. This dream is worth getting lost in for a couple hours at least...
Tron: Neat, but perhaps a little ahead of its time? It was completely original - that's always good.
Troy: All the younger actors in this movie were great - I really liked Brad Pitt in it (and Eric Bana, etc... even that wimply guy who woo'd Helen was OK). But the older Kings? They were too "unkingly", and "unwise". Maybe that was part of the point, but it really made the movie frustrating to watch. As for its adherence to the "true story"? Get over it! It's not a truly told story anyway, so who cares? People who get all worked up about "the classics" miss the point I think. The classics were never classics when they were written - they were just the pop fiction of their day.
True Lies: There was some neat stuff in this... but tell me, what was with the whole interrogation scene? That went on way too long. Also, the end with Ahnold's daughter was really really hard to believe. They could have come up with a more believable, yet just as "action-packed" end.
True Romance: Man, which one was this? It was one of those slick bad-boy road movies. I think it had Christian Slater in it. I do remember that I liked it.
The Truman Show: Jim Carey is an arrogant dork. He was funny once, but now he's just so damn full of himself that I can't even stand to see him. This was supposed to be his big breakthrough role or something, but I just thought it was dumb. It just didn't get past my suspension of disbelief filter. The plot of this movie would never EVER happen!!! NEVER! I had a hard time taking anything in it seriously since I just couldn't get past that simple fact.
Twelve Monkeys: Terry Gilliam is a genius again. I think he could make a film about paint drying and I'd love it.
Twilight Zone: the movie: It was Ok, but it could just as easily have been a TV special. So many have tried to redo Rod Serling's famous formula, but I have yet to see it work. What made the original show so special was Rod's commentary at the start and finish of each episode, not necessarily the episodes themselves. He had a way of pointing out the essence of the story without talking down to the audience or coming across as a nerd.
Twister: Nobody had made a tornado movie (I'm not counting the wizard of oz), so I guess it was just a matter of time. I heard that a tornado actually hit a drive-in movie theater in Toronto while this movie was playing. I don't know if it was during "that" scene though.