This is a Mexican movie that’s… well… Mexican. It’s the film equivalent of a velvet painting of Mary framed with chistmas lights. It’s one of those things that should have you turning your head, but you can’t because it’s so true, so real. The movie is about a Mexican cop who graduates from the academy & gets posted to Mexican siberia – some dirt infested town in the middle of nowhere. He gradually loses his idealism & becomes just another nameless face… It’s a sick thing, but how can you not watch it?
Highlander II
Doesn’t even deserve to be called a movie. What the hell was this crap? This movie is incredibly bad. When I think of all the people who’ve watched it, and all the people who made it… I just want to cry out loud! I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and stop them from ever making this.
Highlander
This movie would have been great if it had just stopped with one movie. Instead, there is a whole “highlander” empire out there – TV show, stupid sequel, t-shirts, fan clubs, etc… All that stuff has really diluted the original. As for this movie, it was good, had one of the best bad guys ever. Especially, the bad guy’s voice.
Hercules in New York
One of the most hilarious films I’ve seen. The only problem is that it’s too long. After about a half-hour I said to myself, “why am I wasting my life watching this?”. Ahnold’s first movie, he’s credited as “Arnold Strong”, his voice is dubbed by some soap star or something. “I am Hercules”. I’m sitting here laughing out loud just thinking about it.
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
Wow. What a seriously creepy movie. It’s a rare film where the lead character, or “hero”, is a truly evil person. Not just a bad guy, but downright deranged. To top it off, they almost gave this movie a happy ending… and then there’s that final sequence! This movie was totally twisted. I loved it. Michael Rooker nailed this part.
Heathers
Yes, I loved this movie… High school sucks, it needs to be destroyed. When you consider that this movie came out during my senior year in high school… it holds a special place in my head.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Well, they finally got it right. Good acting, good directing, good script, good effects… I think it helped a lot that the kids were a bit older in this one. It made their sleuthing a little more believable.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Mildly entertaining I suppose, but hardly riveting… It felt like somebody was behind the screen, just turning the crank. More special effects, more wizard stuff, more monsters, etc etc etc… Did you notice how utterly helpless all the “professors” are? I mean, they don’t even try to solve the mystery, they just want to give up and close the school – even the head wizard dude doesn’t really do anything. The plot would have been more engaging if the professors were trying to solve the mystery too, but stuck on a “wrong path” or something. I suppose that’s what one gets in a kid’s book/movie though – helpless adults & hero kids.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
I had just read the book when I saw this, and the movie was almost too much to absorb… I kept looking at everything, and trying to figure out exactly what they might have skipped… It was a very odd way to see a movie. If you do go see it, don’t read the book the night before… give it some time.
Happy Gilmore
I hate this movie with a passion. I haven’t seen all of Adam Sandler’s movies, but most of them suck. This one REALLY sucks. Yes, I know, a lot of people have just the opposite feeling. But, I guess I have a different view of golf. The jokes in this movie should be funny only to someone who doesn’t play much or any golf. It was totally shallow, and just unbelievably dumb. If you want to see decent golf humor, see caddyshack.
Happenstance
A cute movie that is growing on me more now that it’s over. For a while it was really dialogue-heavy, which is difficult with a sub-titled film. But, it was really well thought-out, and the bits really didn’t seem contrived. Basically, it’s about all the little odd bits of happenstance that happen over the course of a day that bring two people together. If not for any one of these things, they might not have ever met. Makes me wonder about all the things that have brought me to my current state of affairs… and wonder if any little randowm things I’ve done have altered the course of others lives… make me feel both powerful and powerless at the same time.
Halloween
One of the first wave of this genre. It was good only because it came out at a time when this idea was fresh. Now, it’s been done a thousand times. It’s easy to dismiss this movie in retrospect.
Hackers
Hollywood knows nothing about computers, and they assume that ‘we the people’ don’t either. This was supposed to be some slick cyberpunk production about kids breaking into computers. I thought it was more like MTV’s cast of “the real world” gets computers. Oh my gaaaood!!!
Grumpy Old Men
This could have been a good movie, but instead it was barely average. They could have thought of some other “crises” than “a beautiful woman moves in next door”.
Groundhog Day
Excellent. What would you do if this happened to you? Stuck in the same day over and over for an eternity? You’d go a little bananas… Who’s better at going bananas than Bill Murray? It’s interesting how this movie has transformed the meaning of the term “Groundhog Day” to mean a situation like this movie… and less the actual holiday.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas – 2000
The thing which made the original Grinch so appealing was that everything was in verse. This movie threw all that out the window, and the result was something just completely stupid and unwatchable. Earth to hollywood – if you’re going to do a movie adaptation of a Dr. Seuss book – make everything rhyme. It’s not that hard… Yes, it will take a little bit of effort, but that’s why we’re paying you millions of dollars.
Grey Gardens
Did this really happen? An unbelievable believable slice of life. Ever wonder what would happen to someone completely removed from reality, and left to live in a world of their own making? Ever wonder what’s happening in that creaky old mansion up the road with the overgrown hedge?
Gray Lady Down
Action movies have come a long way.
Gremlins
Hey, I just had a great marketing idea – evil furbies! Who says they have to be cute? (wait a second… maybe they already ARE evil…)
The Green Mile
A decent movie that had a hard time going somewhere. They did an excellent job creating a mood and building characters, but then it was almost like they didn’t know what to do next…. Ummm, let’s make the guy a magical, mystical being that can cure diseases! I think it would have been a better movie if the Tom Hanks character just discovered that the big guy was innocent, and struggled with “what to do”. Instead, they turned a really good movie into an OK one.
Greedy
I really wanted to punch that old rich guy, what a frickin jerk. I also wanted to punch all those pathetic fools trying to get his money. I also wanted to punch Michael J Fox. In fact, the only person I didn’t feel like punching was Olivia D’Abo.
The Great Outdoors
Suburbanites in the woods… la di da…
Great Balls of Fire
Yes, he sure did have great balls of fire. I guess the world just wasn’t ready for hillbilly romance back then. If this happened today, he’d just sell even more records.
Grease
See this movie only once. Additional viewings will cause serious irreparable harm. You’ll find yourself endlessly humming “Better Shape Up…” to the other inmates in the asylum. Serious drugs will be required to clear your head, and before long, you’ll become a grinning, drooling mess. Consider yourself warned.
Gosford Park
It’s just fascinating to watch snobs and their servants. This movie makes you feel like a peeping tom – relegated to inadequate glimpses of the central activity. I liked the way there were few “plot bits” in the movie – (e.g. action or dialog that exists only to move the plot along). For the first hour of the movie, I had absolutely no idea what was going on, or who was who – nothing is explained to the audience. That makes the movie a real puzzle – not only are you curious to know who did the murder, but simply “who is who”… A good deal of credit goes to Robert Altman for paying attention to the detail in the movie – it didn’t feel like a movie at all, rather a window to a lost world – the directing, acting, and general style were that good.